New Monday...New attitude..

I think because I am getting a little looong in the tooth..I feel compelled to make changes in my life. I think I've gotten to a point where I ask myself is this really as good as it gets? I can no longer tell myself I can do things tomorrow..or that it is someone else's fault..time has taken those two excuses from me..Now it is pretty much "put up or shut up" time in my life.

I've spent so much time worrying about others, and mostly things I cannot do anything about..and have really let MY life go..and in so many ways-it has impacted my family..but..I realize I cannot do that anymore..Why continue to live life with what if family and the shoulda woulda and coulda crew? Sooo..Today is the start to my get it done challenge for myself..

Today-the first thing on my list is..what to get done? What are my goals..what are my challenges to meet these goals? What do I need and how can I realistically get them? So today, after working..the list will commence..LOL..After I get said list done..in my pretty journal...I'm all about the pretty at this stage in my life it seems..I'm going to pray..sincerly pray about it..because without God in it..there is no way I'm going to meet my goals..I know in my heart what I must do..and what I need to do..and I realize that w/out God exacting change in my heart..I'll just keep spinning my wheels.

Another thing that I'm way proud of today is that my friend Deadra-a financial managing whiz if ever there was one..has openend her own couponing site..I'm so proud of her..she's doing what she can..and it will help her..and others..hugely..Hopefully I'll soon be "linked" to her..so more folks can benefit from her knowledge..and hopefully help her in some ways..

My thought for today is..when prayer goes up..blessings come down..so if you are stuck in a rut..if you feel as if you are lost in the wilderness..heck..if you are just sitting bored on the sofa and feel like you are just empty inside..PRAY..because God hears you..and he wants to help you..just let him in..it's far better than what this world and it's ruler(Satan) are offering..

I hope today finds you on a mission..a mission to get the things out of life you want..and that you need..

Happy birthday card to Mike

Today I woke up..after almost a full nights sleep-something I rarely get anymore..from dreams of chasing butterflies in a field at home..I realized that today is my brother Mike's birthday..he would have been 52 this year..but because of what is now known as hepatitis C, he was taken from us when he was 27. My brother was 14 years older than me..so his presence wasn't as strong as that of my older sister..but he loved me..and I knew it..Although my cousins Craig and Randy tried to step in to take his place..I never knew the safety or love that I had with him. I never talk about him, mostly because I feel guilty doing it-I feel as if my loss was not as great as that my sister endured because they were so very close and never as much as my parents-who wants to bury their child? My daddy never talked about it and momma fell apart..their marriage almost fell apart..It wasn't easy..but it is true..Time will soften all wounds..I wish I could just sit down and talk with him..tell him things-have his response..just see him smile..the one thing I do remember vivdily..I have the same one..lol..My brother was my identical in our inperfection..to my sister's total perfection..and I say today..out loud..I miss you big brother..but I know God needed you..maybe to keep Aunt Lucy company..or to be there with Grandaddy..I love you Mike..I wish you could see your 2 crazy nieces..lol..most of all..I'm glad you are with the lambs..and I know you are in some way watching over me..Thank you for giving me sweet dreams..and kind thoughts on your birthday..Happy birthday big brother..from your baby sister..

The stealers of my home order...AKA..the devil's little minions who wreak havoc in my home..

Today is a day that brings my life back in order...I've seen over the last 3 weeks the end of the order that I had finally gotten back into my life..and in the life of my kids..and the price it is costing us..not only emotionally, but financially.

We have eaten out over 1/2 of the time over these 3 weeks. That is CRAZY..so much money wasted..on food that could be easily prepared at home. Today I made my meal plan for the week..and today I'm also going to prepare the kitchen to follow said meal plan-that means yes, I'll be a cleaning and organizing fool in the kitchen today..lol..I've made my grocery list-and am going to the commissary to get the stuff I need..and in some instances when i get back, I'll prepack/prepare some of the ingredients so all I have to do is put it together on the day it is to be made.

Each evening with the girls, it is a battle to make sure that we have everything we need for outfits-THANKFULLY-we are still following the get our clothes together the night before...but it is chaotic because I've let the laundry monster get out of hand..well...I'm almost done slaying it..and as I go, I'm organizing outfits..that way the kids just have to decide by picking it up out of the closet..makes life easier for all-since I'm a gymboree freak..lol..they come AS outfits down to the socks..so it is easy for ME to put the outfits together..lol..this should cut down on the insanity at bedtime..This will also be applied to the 17 year old so we don't have the battle w/appropriateness...lol...

The next to last thing on the list for this week is the infamous chore chart..I've been putting this off because I haven't gotten MY chores done..but alas, i'm working to that level of completion-so I've already setup the chart-but it will go into effect this week. The littles are WAY excited..and far be it from me not to give them what they want..lol..

The last, but probably the most important thing I'll do this week is the BUDGET..this is MY biggest issue-I love to get things..LOL..but I have a budget..now I just have to prepare and follow it..Hubby has approved it..so it will be our way..even if I have to pray day and night and even in the middle of the day to order my steps AWAY from the sale isle..lol..

For the last few years, I've been at battle..because I've been struggling with being the mom who provides and the mom who prepares..and i've decided that even tho I have to be both-the mom who prepares is more important..because without that preparedness..it is almost impossible to provide...

What is your way? What is your level of preparedness as a mother?

Hope today is a day of blessing for you all-This is the last day I will willingly not follow the Sabbath...that is my promise to myself and my family..I hope that this day of not doing what I should...to do what I must will be worth it..I have faith that it will.

So many things-so little time

<<b><font color=blue>> How to get it all done?<</b></font color>>

So many days in my life, I've spent it trying to get out of doing what I know is right...not that I'm about breaking the law, disrespecting life or anyone..but just in general. How many times do I KNOW I need to get some housework done or work work done..and yet I sit here on the computer playing a game...or get engrossed in a TV show, or just feel exhaustion overcome me and fall asleep.  I'm really great at ignoring the issues in my life-until they blow up and then I HAVE to pay attention. 

I hear so much in this world about things that are someone else's fault-and of course, I'm getting older and starting to feel my own mortality...and I just want to know..what will be my legacy? When I talk about my grandmother, I have all of this fond memories...when I talk about my mom..I have to talk about how hard she worked..and how to this day she loves us, and is like the matriarcal bear that would slash your face off if you messed with one of her cubs..and especially if you mess with one of her grandcubs..lol..and of course, there is my daddy and grandaddy..these men, even through all of the turbulations based on their complexion-were and are two of the most respected men in the valley...

So here I am..wondering, what will be MY legacy? What will Katie tell my grandchildren about me? What will Emily and Ashley remember fondly of me when they are not with us anymore? I WANT it to be that I loved them and protected them, that I was someone they could admire and want to be like-that I showed by example the values and ideals of hardwork, honesty and humbleness-and the need for drive to get what you want-but I just don't think I'm meeting the mail and I truly believe it is time for change. I have been blessed with a DNA of survival, mental acuity and toughness..so now it is time to use those very things to be the woman God intends me to be.  I'm not sure when I became so lazy and afraid..but whenever or however it happened..It is time for me to change-so that my legacy is one that continues the pattern of positivity that was started by my family so long ago.  I owe them all for what they have done, and what they have provided to me..

I always tell Katie that she needs to live up to the last name she was blessed with-now I need to practice what I preach and do the same.  

Today...Cleaning and Working..oh my...

Today has overall been a pretty good day.  I have so much laundry to do, but not as much as I had yesterday. Work is at the least hectic, but I'm slowly doing all of my projects and might actually find myself on time with some stuff..Mostly, I'm grateful that God gave me the gift of today. 

For supper tonight we are having teriaki chicken, rice and veggies..nothing too crazy...We have really gotten off our schedule, and boy is it showing. So, I'm going to keep it simple tonight-I have to work a little late-so this will be an easy peasy meal that the family enjoys.

As I sit here looking out at the view behind our home, I marvel at how I've gotten to this place in my life. Had you talked to me when I graduated from high school-this would've been almost a NIGHTMARE for me..but I've really never been happier..the only thing that will make me happier is having another child soon..lol..

I guess as you get older, realize how much you have to be grateful for-things could always be WORSE...and I'm trying hard to count the blessings rather than the shortcomings in my life. Because I'm learning those are really the things most important, and once you begin looking at the blessings-you find there are far fewer things to complain about.

So tonight when I lay my head and say my prayers..I will thank God for my family, my home, my life..and give him the glory...